I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
