how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
