I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
