Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
