So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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