Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
