she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i've created a new STD.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
