So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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