It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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