You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
