glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
