mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
