And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
