I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
