yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
