And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
