just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
