hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
