is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You are a genius and a whore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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