So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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