Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
