Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
