Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
