4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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