u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
