Porn is love you can see.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
