you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
