Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
