We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Did I show you my penis last night?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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