i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
