Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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