You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
