that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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