the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
