I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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