I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
