After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
