Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
