So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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