There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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