there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
