just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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