and you said cock pushups were impossible
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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