Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
