it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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