no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
