So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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