You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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