i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
