I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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